Exposing a sociopath

A Complete Guide to Exposing a Sociopath

A sociopath is a person who has an antisocial personality disorder. This disorder is characterized by a disregard for the feelings of others, a lack of remorse or shame, manipulative behavior, uncontrolled selfishness, and the ability to lie to gain personal ends. At their worst, sociopaths can be dangerous; at their simplest, they’re just very difficult to deal with. That’s why it’s important to know if you’re dealing with a sociopath, whether it’s a partner or an impossible colleague. If you want to spot a sociopath, you have to look closely at a person’s words and actions.

Recognize the signs

Notice a lack of shame.

Most sociopaths can do the worst things without feeling remorse. This includes, for example, physical abuse or public insults to others. A true sociopath is not ashamed when they hurt others, lie to them, manipulate them, or just behave in a generally awkward manner. If a sociopath does something wrong, they will not take responsibility for it; they will blame someone else. A sociopath is always willing to hurt others if it helps them achieve their goals. This is why sociopaths are often so successful. Keep in mind, though, that sociopaths aren’t necessarily set on chasing others, although it’s often said they are. They just do what pleases them and don’t think about the impact it might have on others. Sociopaths may also be violent towards animals and show no remorse about it either.

Notice if someone lies constantly.

Sociopaths can go about their lives as a matter of course and lie constantly. They even feel uncomfortable telling the truth. If you catch them in a lie, they will keep lying and backtrack to cover up lies. However, if they threaten to catch a really big lie, they’ll probably confess dramatically to keep your loyalty. The sociopath may promise to get help and not do it, or they may temporarily change their behavior and then revert to old patterns. Sociopaths also like to lie about their past. Watch out for inconsistencies in their stories. Be alert when someone who knows their story disagrees with the sociopath’s versions or provides you with important information that the sociopath has been withholding. Some sociopaths go to great lengths to get you to believe them. A sociopath may even pretend to go to work every day when actually they are unemployed. Many sociopaths are delusional enough to believe their own lies. For example, Charles Manson once said, “I didn’t kill anyone! I didn’t have to kill anyone!” (Referring to the fact that his disciples killed but he did not.)

Notice if someone remains eerily calm in the face of circumstances.

A sociopath can experience a highly emotional event for others without feelings. Sociopaths don’t handle events like non-sociopaths, meaning they rarely react to dangerous or frightening situations. When a sociopath forgets to act, they react to good or bad news with a cold, blank stare. If you’re nervous or panicky, and the other person isn’t upset, then they’re not taking the event as seriously as you are. This could indicate a lack of empathy, which could signify a sociopath. Think about whether the person has ever seemed anxious or nervous, especially in situations where that would have been normal. While some people are more composed, most people exhibit some form of anxiety at one point or another. Also, consider if the person has been overly emotional at times when it wasn’t appropriate. Then he could have produced a false emotion or it could be a defensive strategy. Studies have shown that sociopaths do not react anxiously when shown images that would upset others or when given small electric shocks, whereas non-sociopaths show anxiety or fear in these situations.

Consider if the person is extremely charming and generous, at least at first glance.

Sociopaths are good at wooing others and making big, generous gestures because they know how to get something. Charming people know how to make others feel special by asking them the right questions about themselves. They are also generally considered to be cheerful, popular, and interesting. Truly charming people can charm almost anyone – from young children to old ladies. If someone is incredibly charming and generous at first but later engages in behavior that scares or confuses you, they may be a sociopath. The person may go out of their way to help strangers or be particularly generous to people they barely know. However, he may be the opposite in the presence of family and close friends. You should think of sociopaths as crooks who always have a secret plan. They have to know how to charm others to get what they want. To get closer to their goal, they must first not stand out from the crowd. That means they need to know how to smile, greet others, and make others feel comfortable. Although many sociopaths appear extremely charming, they have strong antisocial tendencies. Sometimes they are very charming, sometimes cold and distant. They aren’t really real either when it comes to interacting with others. When someone exhibits a wide variety of behaviors, ranging from antisocial to extremely charming, that indicates a mental disorder, which is a red flag. It could also be an attempt to provoke rejection and hurt to use it then to control others. This is always accompanied by a lack of compassion or a disregard for the lives of others. If you feel like the other person isn’t real, it could be someone with sociopathic tendencies.

Notice if the other is being manipulative.

Sociopaths understand human weaknesses and take maximum advantage of them. Once they detect one, they can manipulate others into almost anything. Sociopaths pounce on weak people and tend to stay away from those who are equally strong. They look for people who are sad, insecure or who are looking for meaning in life because such people are easy targets. In other words, someone with unmet needs is easily manipulated about them. Notice if the person is simply making others do what they want. Sociopaths slowly gain dominance and control over someone without them realizing it. The sociopath likes to control any situation and is uncomfortable around strong people. Often such a person pretends to want to help but, in reality, only wants to control everything. And he’s always worried about being exposed. In the presence of strong personalities, they are afraid of being discovered. They keep their distance and use small contacts to check whether their strong personality has seen through them. A sociopath, however, pounces on the strongest people he can deceive without being discovered or exposed by them. If that happens, he plays his trump card or disappears, always with an excuse that makes no sense. Sociopaths achieve much of their dominance through psychic warfare by making others dependent on them. They are like poison because they want to weaken others gradually. If they are not exposed in the process, then nothing can happen to them. Consider if the person has no problem cheating and lying to others to get what they want. Such a person not only lacks empathy but they also lack integrity in whole or in part. However, outsiders often consider the person to be of high moral integrity.

Watch for signs of cruel behavior.

As children, sociopaths often torment vulnerable people and animals. The violence always comes from them and is not for defense. They create drama out of nowhere or twist what others say. They often overreact to the slightest of attacks. When challenged or accused, they point the finger and rely on the compassion and common sense of others to protect themselves and remain anonymous. The accusations are intended to prevent them from being exposed and create unrest in the situation. If you feel that someone seems calm on the outside, but the person could freak out and become violent at any moment, only to calm down afterward, then it could be sociopathic tendencies.

Notice if the person has a big ego.

Sociopaths often think of themselves as particularly awesome and that they are the greatest people on earth. They cannot handle criticism at all, and they have a highly inflated ego. They also believe that they are entitled to a great deal, i.e. that they deserve to have others do great things for them, even if they don’t feel good about it themselves. They don’t interest others, they just want to use them. They also often have completely unrealistic ideas about their abilities. They may think they are extremely talented, for example, in singing or dancing. In reality, however, they often have almost no talent in these areas. They are either delusional, which is often the case, and they say such things to keep the facade up so they don’t get caught. They may also believe that they are better than everyone else without any proof of this. The person may also be narcissistic. That’s why she’s more interested in talking about herself than listening to others. Any problem someone else has, sociopaths, can make everything revolve around them soon. Such a person also spends much time in front of the mirror and less time looking at others. In general, a sociopath does not want to hear what others have to say.

Notice if the person has few real friends.

While not everyone is lucky enough to have great friends, you should be careful when someone really has no real friends. Someone like that might have minions. These people interact with them to be bossed around or have hopes for something from them. Consider whether the person has truly meaningful relationships with others. If the person has almost no friends, there may be something wrong with them unless they are very shy or have other valid reasons for not having friends. This also applies to family members. If the person isn’t in contact with their family and never talks about them, that could also be a problem. Of course, there may be other reasons why he doesn’t talk to these people, such as a difficult childhood. Notice any missing links to the past. If the person has no friends from high school, college, or other points in the past, then they could also be a sociopath. Notice if the person tells you that they have been betrayed repeatedly and therefore have no friends or only failed relationships. If someone like that gets caught or finds an ideal target, they’ll take off. Such a person wants to wreak havoc and havoc on others.

Consider if the person wants to isolate you.

Sociopaths like to meet people and then it all happens very quickly and they get very close to the person so you don’t change your mind and pull away. In a romantic relationship, you may find that the sociopath is acting very intensely around you after just a few weeks. He might even make you feel like you’re soul mates because he’s very good at seeing through other people and knows exactly what you like to hear. The sociopath has probably noticed that you have an unmet need or dream of being in a close relationship. He then takes the opportunity to put on a mask that fits that need or dream. Finally, the sociopath will want you for themselves instead of sharing you with the world. When you get into a romantic relationship, the sociopath will quickly stop you from seeing other friends because they feel threatened by them. He’ll make excuses like, “They don’t get you the way I do,” or “They never gave me a chance,” or “They want to upset you because they don’t like me.” He will play victim to extremes to elicit an empathetic response from the target. He will try to convince you that only he can save you; therefore, you should spend all your time with him and only listen to him.

Notice if the person is reacting immaturely.

Sociopaths don’t learn from their mistakes and repeat them repeatedly. Therefore, they do not develop and grow like others. Be aware of immature behavior that may be hiding behind the mask of charisma and charm. You should pay attention to this: Extreme selfishness. They want everything at any cost. Then there is the unwillingness to share. A huge ego. They are so obsessed with themselves that they don’t care about others. The person wants you to be there for them whenever they want—denial of responsibility. The person is unwilling or unable to take on real responsibilities. Such a person either passes work on to others and boasts about it, although others always make mistakes, or avoids responsibility altogether.

Watch out for psychological abuse.

Because sociopaths lie and cheat, they often make the victim feel that the problems they are causing are their fault. The medical term is “transference”. That’s how you recognize a sociopath. He blames you for how he treats you. If the person lies and accuses you of lying, you could deal with a sociopath. He makes you feel crazy. If the person drives you crazy with something and then makes you feel like you’re crazy, they could be a sociopath.

Observe if the person is staring at you intensely and manipulatively to intimidate you.

A sociopath’s ego is fueled by the victim feeling bad. If the person is staring at you coldly and blankly to intimidate you and isn’t sorry that you’re getting nervous, then you’re probably dealing with a sociopath.

Get away

Don’t give the sociopath what they want.

Act as boring as possible so as not to satisfy the sociopath’s need for excitement. Sociopaths get bored easily. This includes denying them emotional entertainment. Keep calm when you’re talking to him. Don’t get upset and don’t argue with him. Don’t give in to his attempts to engage you! Silence is the best response to a sociopath. Also, pretend you don’t have anything the sociopath wants. Pretend you’re out of money, things have already been stolen, etc. Whatever you gave him, find a non-emotional, non-confrontational excuse as to why you can’t give it to him anymore.

Stay away from him as much as possible.

Once you know you’re dealing with a real sociopath, it’s best to avoid them as much as possible. If it’s a colleague or someone from your circle of friends, then maybe that’s not entirely possible. But try as much as you can. Remember that a sociopath may sense that you’re trying to distance yourself and want to wrap you up even more. Stay strong and determined to spend as little time with the person as possible. That doesn’t mean you should be overtly mean or hostile. Otherwise, it could even be dangerous. Don’t tell the person, “I know you’re a sociopath.” Otherwise, the person may get upset or want even more to win you back. The person shouldn’t know that you saw through them. Stay as far away as possible without being malicious.

Stay immune to his charms.

The sociopath may want to wrap you up and win you back with gifts, compliments, or stories that make them look good. Don’t forget that there’s no turning back once you’ve exposed a true sociopath. No charming behavior and no lies can pull you back to the dark side. Don’t be flattered to give them a second chance. Remember that self-doubt is a normal part of this process, as the sociopath knows how to make you question yourself by distorting reality. Don’t give in. The sociopath will try to trick you into feeling sorry for him. He will tell you how lonely he is or how important you are to him. But if the person is such a liar and a manipulator, then you can’t have any real sympathy for them other than to regret that they have a mental illness.

End a love affair as soon as possible.

You should break up with a sociopath as quickly and safely as possible. The longer you wait, the worse things will get and the more likely you will be sucked into the sociopath’s ideas. If you need to end a relationship, you should tell the other person as soon as possible. You don’t have to say you’re doing it because you think the other person is a sociopath. Keep your reasoning vague, and don’t give the other ammunition to manipulate you. Be firm about your decision, as you will likely have to repeat it several times. Remember that there is a difference between being a sociopath and someone who is just being inconsiderate. You may call someone a sociopath for treating you badly or acting selfishly. But that only indicates a bad character. A true sociopath is never interested in what others think and feel. If you’re in a controlling or manipulative relationship, you shouldn’t end it yourself. You could do it over the phone or take a friend when you need to pick up your things. A sociopath is unlikely to take no for granted. If you want to end a relationship, a sociopath may become desperate or violent to force you to stay.

Warn others.

While you shouldn’t go around telling everyone they’re a sociopath (unless they’re really dangerous). However, if necessary, you should warn others in the vicinity of the person. In particular, warn people who want to get involved in a romantic relationship. Don’t upset the person by telling everyone they’re a sociopath, though. However, if there is a situation where a potential victim needs to be warned, don’t be afraid to do so. Consider that on a case-by-case basis. If it’s a manager at your company, you probably shouldn’t go around warning others. But you should stay away from that person as much as possible.

Think for yourself

Sociopaths pounce on people who have trouble thinking for themselves or crave strong leadership. To protect yourself against the charms of a sociopath in the present and future, you should know who you are, develop your own ideas, and see the world through your own eyes. Sociopaths avoid strong personalities and original thinkers, knowing that such people are difficult to control. It can take a lifetime to think independently truly. But educating yourself about current events, understanding different levels of a situation, and spending time with people who have different attitudes than you do are important steps in becoming a truly settled personality. Part of it has to do with self-confidence. If you believe in yourself, then you also trust your ideas more. This makes you more likely to shoo away sociopaths who cross your path.

Don’t be afraid of sociopaths.

Instead, use your own thinking skills (as mentioned above) and react sensibly and calmly. First, a sociopath can pretend anything, so if someone does, there’s little point in grappling with that hollow mask. Second, sociopaths are intelligent, which could become stressful for you if you’re trying to be just as smart or smart or constantly dodging their overwhelming need for their intelligence or cleverness to be the center of attention. Suppose you stop fearing the sociopath and stop trying to be better or as good as them and instead start accepting and valuing yourself more for what makes you valuable. In that case, a sociopath will have a hard time manipulating you. Most sociopaths are not killers, sadists, or monsters. They are people to be treated with care. You didn’t choose to be a sociopath any more than you chose to be a victim of his tricks. However, you can make it easier or harder for a sociopath to manipulate your weaker self. It’s entirely up to you. Educate yourself about how people manipulate and abuse others and learn ways to undermine such behavior, and live your own life. That’s not to say the sociopath will appreciate it when you show off your stronger self and refuse to be taken by it. However, the sociopath will stop wasting energy on you and continue manipulating you because they know you see through them every time. It bores him, and sociopaths hate boredom.

About the Author

John Hill

John Hill is a freelance writer who covers a wide range of topics, including gaming, personal finance, gadget reviews, travel, entertainment, and education. With an extensive journalistic background, he has written for several print and online publications.